Your Random Questions, Answered! #blog #youaskedforit #google #oddities

You’ve asked me questions, via Google, or whatever other heathen-styled search engine you used. (What, you used Bing, you freak!) Anyway, you know you wanted to have your questions answered, and I will now be your Magic 8 Ball.

Sort of. I’ll also try to point you in the right direction if it suits my purposes. Sorry if this post gets a bit long-winded, but you all inspired me! Note, I’m only covering things from the past three months or so, because otherwise things will get out of control quickly. Let’s get on with it, in no particular order, shall we?

Demon Goat

Oh yeah, I get this one a TON. It’s because of my Petting Zoos and Goat Peeves post, where I named an image “Baby Demon Goat.” So now go, and read that funny post, where I talk about the stupidity of putting goats in petting zoos because the setup is hazardous to you and your small people’s welfare. Associated with this search phrase: demon that looks like a goat, demon looks like goat.

how to disappear completely and never be found doug richmond e-book

Yeah, I loved the Literary Oddities post too! And that book looks like a real gem, boy howdy. 😉 I mean, who doesn’t want to learn how to vanish? It’s all too tempting.

one month without wine

Ah yes, you’re referring to my Giving Back – A Month Without Wine post, inspired by Amber West. Check it out, she’s downright inspirational.

the “death of possibility” . . . the one dark fantasy almost all men have and how to reposition

I have no idea how this came to my blog. But okay, this is about how men fear commitment, because they fantasize being the alpha male, out there conquering all the women in the world. If they commit to just YOU, then they experience the ‘death of possibility,’ this ability to fulfill this dream. Which, you know, would never happen anyway. Sorry guys.

Steven Montano

Yeah, he’s cool. What about it? He just published Crown of Ash, which I just noticed is somehow twice as long as Soulrazor… Cause apparently I have all the time in the world to hang out and read only his books. 😉 But truly, he writes amazing apocalyptic horrific sci-fi vampire fiction that’ll blow your mind. Anyway I bought it, and I’ll read it when it works its way through my pile. Read his books. I do. Go on now.

snake plissken novels

I must to defer to the fabulous and awesome Jen Kirchner on this topic, because she is the Snake Plissken expert. No joke. She’s also funny as all shizznaut. Check it.

demon retribution kiersten fay free ebook / kiersten fay demon retribution free ebook

I’m not sure why you’re asking me about the timing of her promos? I like Kiersten Fay’s series, I read them, but go and ask her when she’ll do another promo free day! Geesh…

writers too many projects

Don’t judge me.

what did you say what is my long wait

I do not see a line anywhere. I humbly suggest you chill out.

would zombies be like sleep walkers

Yes, I rather thought so myself! In fact I wrote Sleepwalkers Versus Zombies to discuss just this issue.

And finally, the varied BLUNTCARD searches

Seriously? These are all because of my Freezepocalypse post! The one and ONLY time I’ve ever included a bluntcard image! What the hell fuck, peoples? Anyways, here are the list of unique bluntcards searchers were seeking:

  • bluntcard hot weather
  • blunt card hot temps — i’m sensing a theme?
  • putting on makeup for 2 hours doesn’t quote on bluntcard — how odd?
  • bluntcard zombies — there are a bunch of these, but then zombies always come in packs
  • hug around the neck with a rope bluntcard — i think that’s called a hanging
  • bluntcard status not about you — i didn’t think it was
  • bluntcard shame shame zone — wasn’t me

There were some pr0n searches which brought you to me too, and other inappropriate thoughts you had for me! I’ll just summarize those as, um, thanks? There are also many instances of my name, or my book titles, which is nice. This lets me know search engines work. YAY search engines!

Did I miss anything? Any more burning questions? I can’t imagine more, frankly. LOL

  12Comments

  1. Alan Edwards   •  

    I love seeing what crazy search terms other bloggers get. And now I know where to go for all my demon goat needs.

    • Candice Bundy   •     Author

      *rubs hands together* I can’t wait, after all of your Walking Dead posts, and all of your vitriol, it’ll be awesome!

      MY DEMON GOATS! C’mon down. I have a friend with a farm of em. No, seriously.

  2. Steven Montano   •  

    *I* want a demon goat!

    • Candice Bundy   •     Author

      You have NO IDEA how many results I get, DAILY on demon goats. Sorry, they are ALL MINE. I powned them. I guess?

  3. Jen Kirchner   •  

    “I do not see a line anywhere. I humbly suggest you chill out.”

    AHAH — solid gold, Candice. Also, I had never heard of this “death of possibility” thing before. Thanks for the 411 on that.

    • Candice Bundy   •     Author

      LOL. Thanks, and let me know if you’re able to hook anyone up with and Snake Plissken novels, you Plisskenator you!

      That “death of possibility”, I had to google that myself…it was the search within a search irony, followed by a little creepy on how/why they came to ‘me’ for an answer. But glad I can clear it all up now. Cheers!

  4. The Dad Hatter   •  

    I used to have a blog. It used to get lots of hits for blood (because I donate) and Superbabes (the RPG). I need to start making some posts on my new blog to get those hits back.

    • Candice Bundy   •     Author

      Yes, you do! Write all the words about the blood donations and RPG’s! 🙂 It’ll be a hoot!

      • The Dad Hatter   •  

        Step one completed. But not because you ordered it. I am my own man.

        • Candice Bundy   •     Author

          Of course you are! I’ll have to run on by and check it out. 😉

  5. Kiersten Fay   •  

    LOL! People are asking you about my promos? That’s too funny.

    I love the demon goat thing. Petting zoos freak me out! However, watching other people’s kids get accosted is somewhat amusing to me. Is that bad?

    • Candice Bundy   •     Author

      I don’t know why they ask me, but they do! Silly monkeys!

      It’s not bad, it’s funny. I walked out of the petting zoo that day with little demon hoof prints all over my pants, where they’d tried to knock me to the ground! They’re rough…those demons. But we write about demons, we know all about that, don’t we? 😉

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